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Living with Yourself: Crime and Punishment, Buddhism for Busy People Book Excerpt
Adapted from an excerpt from Buddhism for Busy People: Finding Happiness in an Uncertain World by David Michie
Imagine this scene: you have been found guilty of some unknown but terrible crime, and are about to be sentenced. There is no question of being let off lightly. A fine would be too lenient. So would a jail term. In the surreal state in which you find yourself, the judge has created a cruel, round-the-clock punishment especially for you.
You are to be taken from the courthouse and returned to your everyday life, giving the appearance that you've been set free. The catch is, you are to be accompanied everywhere you go by an invisible being. This being is just like you in every respect—not so bad, you might think at first. Where the punishment comes in is that your unseen companion never stops talking. You soon discover that from the moment you wake up in the morning—even before you've opened your eyes—to the moment you finally fall asleep, you're being talked at. Yada, yada, yada. Blah, blah, blah. There's no escaping the punishment—you don't even get five minutes' peace and quiet in the bathroom—the judge has explicitly ordered that you are never to be left alone.
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Most of the time your unseen torturer rambles on in a chaotic stream of consciousness. He has some lucid moments. But even these drive you crazy, because the invisible being only ever talks about one subject and one subject alone: me, myself, I—24/7! Want more, now! Gimme, gimme, gimme!
No one else is aware of the endless chatter of, let's call him, Self. Which is just as well. If Self's constant monologue were to be broadcast on radio, you would soon be shunned, not only on account of Self's frequent, unsavory preoccupations—which nice people like you and your friends wouldn't want to be associated with—but also because he is so completely me-focused.
This story is, sadly, far less fictitious than we mostly care to admit. Self seems ever-present, if not in our faces, then insistently whispering at us from in the wings. But when we try to turn the spotlight on him, to pin him down, to make him accountable for some disastrous episode, like McCavity in T.S. Eliot's Cats, he's never there.
The wiliest of operators, the very ultimate in spin-doctors when he needs to be, Self makes sure that when we do see him, he is the master of the plausible explana¬tion. It is not Self's vanity or egotism that caused you to lose your temper with someone—no way, that person was being outrageously provocative. It is not Self's constant need for self-aggrandizement or material props that has you pushing your credit limit—on the contrary, you're just trying to give your family a better quality of life.
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David Michie
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Even when we do succeed in seeing through Self's brilliantly devious spin, and recognize what a dangerous influence he is, for the most part we're so used to him and his endless carping that we've come to think of it as normal. Natural. Intrinsic to who we are.
More than that, let anyone else so much as hint that they've caught a glimpse of Self and don't much like what they see, far from agreeing with them about this unhappy state of affairs, we'll feel hurt or angry and leap to Self's defense. Like kidnapping victims suffering from Stockholm Syndrome (who start to empathize, then fall in love, with their captors), even though we know that Self is ranting, negative and obsessive, the bizarre truth is that we love him more than anything, and are at pains to indulge his every whim. We do our best to make him feel special, brilliant, successful, popular, wealthy, powerful, enlightened, or whatever trip he happens to be on. Most frightening of all, somewhere along the way we allow Self to so dominate our consciousness that we even start to think of him as our essence. Our true being. Our "real me."
Popular magazines lecture to us that allowing Self expression is one of the highest goals of human beings. When other people thwart this, they are jeopardizing our chances of happiness, and we should break free from such negative people and situations.
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Society sets great store in protecting the rights of Self. Advertisers play directly to Self's monomania. And the desire to give Self his fifteen minutes of fame, to make him feel important, is constantly being exploited in new and creative ways.
From a Buddhist point of view, the veneration of Self is just plain crazy; we couldn't be more effectively guaranteeing our own misery if we tried. For all our dissatisfaction, every last ache of suffering we experience can be traced back to our habitual indulging of Self.
This observation is by no means unique to Buddhism. There is a growing trend among contemporary psychologists to consider the cult of self to have gone too far. And no doubt one of the reasons the Dharma is becoming so popular in the West is that so many of us are waking up to the recognition that it directly addresses the prevailing unhappiness of our time.
It's an amazing paradox: the more we focus on making ourselves happy, the unhappier we become. We remain convinced that attracting money, love and influence to ourselves is the road to happiness. Conventional consumerism and social beliefs support this delusion. But an honest assessment of the facts—whether the microcosm of our individual loneliness, or the macro trend of antidepressant consumption—reveals the same incontrovertible evidence that me-ism makes us miserable. Or in the words of Shantideva:
We all seek happiness, but turn our backs on it.
We all wish to avoid misery, but race to collect its causes.
Writing in the New Internationalist magazine, psychiatrist and writer Trevor Turner said, "Today a rising tide of narcissism is spreading like toxic social algae...Conditions such as air rage, road rage and dysmorphophobia (the conviction that you don't quite look right) all reflect the triumph of individual desire over a commitment to the world outside oneself."
The Buddhist response to the paradox of narcissism is both simple and profound: altruism is the cause of the abiding happiness we all seek.
Fortunately, Buddhism provides us with creative, radical and powerful tools to help us on what will probably be a lifetime's mission. Just as the law of cause and effect shows us that it's in our own selfish interests to be generous, so too our understanding of bodhichitta can profoundly alter our attitudes to others.
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More about the book . . .
What does it take to be happy? We've all asked ourselves this question at some point, but few of us have found the path to lasting fulfillment.
David Michie thought he had achieved his life's goals—the high-level job, the expensive city apartment, the luxury car, the great vacations—but a small voice was telling him he wasn't really happy. A chance remark from a naturopath sent him to his local Buddhist center. There he began the most important journey of his life.
In this simple but beautifully written book, David Michie opens the door to the core teachings of Tibetan Buddhism. With wry, self-deprecating humor, he shows us how he began to incorporate Buddhist practices into his daily life. He explains how he came to understand the difference between the temporary pleasures of ordinary life and the profound sense of well-being and heartfelt serenity that comes from connecting with our inner nature.
Every once in a while you come across an extraordinary book with the power to change your life. Buddhism for Busy People is one such book.
"...enjoyably practical advice on transforming our everyday thoughts and actions into a spiritual adventure."—Venerable Tenzin Palmo, author of Reflections on a Mountain Lake
"Michie demystifies the ancient teachings of Buddha, and writes about them with easy style."—Australia Sunday Mail
"Provides an easy handbook which links Tibetan Buddhism teachings to daily life, beginning with the author's own efforts. Chapters show how life goals can be linked to spiritual exploration and cover everything from cultivating compassion to understanding memory and rebirth experiences...[a] top pick for both new age collections and general interest libraries."—The Bookwatch
"To say that I enjoyed reading Buddhism for Busy People is probably an understatement. Indeed, much more than enjoying the book, I found that it was...one of the most useful Dharma books I have read...the explanations of Buddhist concepts are down-to-earth and relevant to this day and age. For instance, Michie gives examples of detachment and attachment in terms of family, friends and career—things which ordinary people can identify with without any difficulty whatsoever.... I recommend this book very highly to all ordinary Buddhists and...to seasoned Dharma practitioners."—The Path of Joy, Journal of the Buddhist Research Society
"For those who have been searching for a sincere, accessible introduction to Tibetan Buddhism...this is your book.... Michie employs storytelling and humor without being falsely enthusiastic or superficial."—Shambhala Sun
"It is an immensely readable book filled with wry, self-deprecating humor."—Australia Post
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More about the Author . . .
David Michie is a corporate communications consultant, published novelist, and Buddhist practitioner. He lives in Perth, Australia.
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Books
© 2009 Snow Lion: The Buddhist Magazine & Catalog
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