THE SNOW LION NEWSLETTER

If we strive to improve ourselves on the spiritual path without a positive sense of self it will be hard to look at our shortcomings. The desire to work with our shortcomings is the reason most of us enter the path in the first place. But this is not always easy—not because on the Buddhist path there is any shortage of skillful means, but because as human beings we find it difficult to accept our mind as it is. When we sit to practice we often find it hard to face what's "in there." All sorts of undesirable sensations and thoughts arise. Our response: "This is bad... very bad indeed. I need to cut this. I need to get rid of this. I'm so intense!" The more we look the more we uncover.

Often we don't notice this aversion because we are too busy revisiting "the scene of the crime," turning it over in our mind again and again as if that could change it. It's like going to see a movie for a second time in hopes that the ending might turn out differently. We simply can't accept our wrongdoing or mistakes, nor can we accept the causes and conditions that produced the undesired result. Of course sometimes we can pin it on others, but we still feel the discomfort: "I wish I didn't do that thing that I did last week!" "Why can't my mind settle in a peaceful state as described in the teachings?" It's a little masochistic. "Bad me!" And all because we simply don't want to accept and sit with the residue of our actions.

I think guilt is a challenge for those living in the modern world where people give such weight to their feelings and emotional states of mind. In more traditional cultures, like Tibet, people give less importance to their emotions. I certainly don't mean to say that they don't have emotions, but they don't dwell on them as much or give them much credence. Even in modern cultures some people feel a stronger sense of guilt than others. Sometimes people who come from rougher, less privileged backgrounds have less guilt, while those who come from more privileged and educated backgrounds—who tend to analyze their thoughts and emotions and try to find some meaning in them—struggle more with guilt.

Some people are deft at managing or justifying their shortcomings. When they do something they don't feel good about they just say, "Oh, well." They know how to suppress their emotions and simply move on. Others have a more sensitive nature, they notice more, and they dig a little too much. Instead of investigating mind with a sense of curiosity they fix their attention on how they feel. They give a lot of importance to the content of their emotions and the sensations that arise. On top of this they often feel uncomfortable with the feelings they fixate on. This is not bad by any means. It's just a harder way to go. It could also be that our guilt has a little pride in it. We just can't stand to entertain the idea that we may have some faults. Seeing them we feel like crawling out of our own skin. Honestly speaking, if there's any skin we truly need to shed it's our habit of rejecting our experience. This habit gives rise to guilt.

Acceptance
I'm sure it is no coincidence that Buddha taught the truth of suffering first. The Buddha realized this truth as a young boy. He saw that suffering was not simply his truth but the universal truth of all beings. This discovery led to a state of deep relaxation and freedom of mind. Afterwards, he taught the second, third and fourth Noble Truths: having accepted suffering one can investigate its causes and then apply the antidote or path which leads to the cessation of suffering.

I recently saw a documentary about children born into brothels in a poor area of Calcutta. I was moved when one young girl said, "I never really think about being rich. Even [though I am] poor, I have a happy life. One has to accept life as being sad and painful. That's all." This attitude of acceptance is palpable in India, particularly in poorer communities. People can clearly see their situation and there is a kind of pragmatic acceptance of it. It is not that they have resigned to suffering; they work hard to survive. But their situation forces them to accept the way things are and there is an obvious sense of ease and joy that comes from thinking in this way. Modern societies may have more material comforts but there is less acceptance since there is always so much promise for an even better way of life, a life "free of suffering."

The acceptance of suffering is a moving experience. When we can feel pain—our own or others'—without guilt it is a beautiful thing. Feeling pain without guilt is compassionate. It is a healthy state, a state of well-being. On the Buddhist path the teachings encourage us to develop a new relationship to pain, a relationship that does not involve the rejection of suffering. They remind us that all beings experience suffering and confusion as part of the condition of samsara. This understanding leads to a softer, more open and agile mind.

We can move forward on our paths with an acceptance of suffering. Acceptance frees us to actively investigate suffering—to understand mind and how it works. We may often have to be critical of our habits. We will have to look at our faults. We will have to examine our neurosis. But because it is already a given that all beings experience disturbing thoughts and emotions, the process of investigation will not be influenced by the undercurrent of wishing them to go away. We need to look without judgments of good or bad but at the same time understand how things are good and bad by virtue of how they function to create happiness and pain. And we need to get clear on the difference between regret, which comes from seeing and fully accepting the causes and conditions of suffering, and guilt, which is solely a wish for a way out of suffering.

If you think about it, without bondage what need is there to speak of a path that leads to liberation from bondage? We need to accept our bondage in samsara by saying: "Yes, we do have confusions and create the causes and conditions of suffering!" Then we can start to investigate the greater possibilities of mind. Shifting our approach in this way we can create the causes and conditions for happiness instead of suffering. This changes our attitude completely. Instead of having a negative attitude toward mind we see our minds in a positive light. Not guilty! Without a sense of "bad me" or a need to pound on the same issue over and over again we can enjoy our life. Wisdom increases and we are free to emerge from our usual habits and negative thinking. As the great pandit, Nagarjuna said: "Someone who has acted carelessly but later becomes careful and attentive is as beautiful as the bright moon emerging from the clouds."

More about the author . . .

Venerable Dzigar Kongtrul Rinpoche was born in Himachel Pradesh in Northern India, the son of the highly respected Buddhist lama Neten Choling Rinpoche. After being recognized as a reincarnation of the nonsectarian master Jamgon Kongtrul Lodro Thaye, he received extensive traditional training in all aspects of Tibetan Buddhist doctrine.

In 1990, he began a five-year tenure as a professor of Buddhist philosophy at Naropa University in Boulder, Colorado. He also founded Mangala Shri Bhuti, his own teaching organization, during this period. He has established a mountain retreat center, Longchen Jigme Samten Ling, in southern Colorado.